Arguing
by keepcalmandwrite
Summary: The Avengers clearly don't get along. Maybe it will take time, or maybe it will never happen, but one thing is for sure. They aren't friends...yet. So this fic explains their arguments, bonding, fights, friendships and relationships as they continue to live together in Avengers Tower and suffer through countless team building exercises courtesy of Coulson. Steve/Natasha
1. Chapter 1

**The Avengers clearly don't get along. Maybe it will take time, or maybe it will never happen, but one thing is for sure. They aren't friends. So this fic explains their arguments, bonding, fights, friendships and relationships as they continue to live together in Avengers Tower and suffer through countless team building exercises courtesy of Coulson. **

"Sir, I have several reports that Mr Stark has been thrown out of a window on the top floor of Stark Tower again." Fury jumped up and fixed his eye patch in place, fully prepared for round two with the insane god of mischief and lies.

"Was it Loki?" He asked impatiently striding over to the junior Agent who shook his head quickly,

"No Sir. Eye witnesses report that they saw Agent Barton push him while shouting 'Do not call me Katniss again Iron Ass!" Fury grimaced and loaded his gun,

"That's the third time this week! It's time I taught those motherfuckers a lesson."

…

"But whhhhy?" Tony whined loudly as the rest of his teammates glared at him, "I was pushed out of the Tower by Legolass, I didn't do anything. This is bull!" Fury had summoned the Avengers into Shield for a meeting concerning the teams relationships with one another, Coulson (who had 'played dead' during the battle of Manhattan) was also present.

"For once I actually agree with Stark, we don't need to be friends, we just need to be able to fight together and we can do that." Natasha stated calmly, her arms folded across her chest and chin set out defiantly.

"She's right." Clint added very un-helpfully, Bruce also nodded but Steve shook his head,

"No I think it's important for us to have strong team dynamics and at the moment we can barely be in the same room as each other without arguing." The super soldier nodded approvingly in Coulsons' direction as he spoke and the Agent beamed proudly.

"Shut it Capsicle, just because you can't handle being in the 21st Century doesn't mean the rest of us have to waste our time holding your hand." Stark argued his teeth gritted as he pointed a finger at Steve.

"Do not call me Capsicle. And I've adjusted fine to this century and I certainly don't need you of all people to hold my hand."

"Oh believe me I wouldn't, even if you got on your knees and begged me too." The billionaire retorted easily.

"You are pathetic. You think you're this big important man but you're just like a frightened little child that hides behind sarcastic comments and jokes." Steve was rarely a cruel man but Tony knew exactly what buttons to press and as a result they commonly ended up in egotistical arguments.

"At least I have a sense of humour; you are nothing but a test subject, a test subject created by my father!" Tony shouted quickly. When he and Steve had gotten into their first argument Tony had been surprised at how well Steve had responded but now he hated it, he liked being the smart sassy one but Steve was too quick witted to make fun of.

"Oh so now he's your-"

"Friends do not fight! We are allies not enemies!" Thor boomed, when he spoke –or rather, shouted- he jumped up from his chair sending it flying across the room.

"Quiet Pointbreak, this has nothing to do with you." Tony responded not even bothering to look at the God of Thunder.

"Stark don't shout at him, he was only trying to help." Natasha replied, watching Thor's kicked puppy expression and feeling sorry for the over friendly god.

"Oh stop pretending like you give a crap about him Red. You know you're just like me, you'd throw us all under the bus to save yourself." Tony said watching as Natasha stood up but before she could respond Steve and Thor shouted,

"Apologise!" Both firm believers in being chivalrous. Tony rolled his eyes as Clint joined in,

"I'm actually with Stark on this one. It's not just Nat though, apart from Steve and maybe Thor, we would all throw each other under the bus." The archer moved to stand beside Tony but before he could Tony turned to face him and shouted,

"You can't copy my saying, I just said that!"

"Are you serious, I'm the only one on your side here and you're shouting at me?" Before Tony could answer Clint's question Bruce muttered,

"I agree with Tony and Clint, we aren't a team and we never will be." Now the six superheroes all stood in the centre of the conference room, no-one spoke for a second before.

"Egotistical idiot!"

"Russian demon!"

"Fucking idiot!"

"Damn super soldier!"

"Pathetic archer!"

"Serious anger issues!"

Insults were being thrown around by all six of them, none of them cared who they were insulting but instead focused on who could shout the loudest, turns out it was…

"ENOUGH!" Fury screamed, he was waving two guns wildly in the air. They were loaded. "You will spend two weeks together either in the Tower, which is now officially Avengers Tower, or doing team building activities. Coulson has already chosen your first one, which you will all attend today. And it is mandatory!"

Silence. And then…

"No way-!"

"Time wasting-!"

"-stuck with these idiots!"

"-time bomb!"

"-would rather be attacked by damn Loki again!"

"EACH OF YOU MOTHERFUCKERS BETTER SHUT THE HELL UP BEFORE I SEND A BULLET INTO EACH OF YOUR MOTHERFUCKING ASSES!" Fury wasn't taking no for an answer. None of the Avenger spoke for a minute while they all sat sulkily back into their chairs.

"So what are we going to do?" Tony asked unable to remain quiet. Coulson grinned a hint of mischief in his eyes and announced…

"Paintball!"

**That was insanely fun to write. **

**Please review, it means so much, should I continue or not? **


	2. Chapter 2

**So I got a suggestion for the next activity so if you have any ideas just put them in a review and I'll get straight on it. Thanks to everyone who reviewed and the ones who gave me some things to include in this chapter! **

**Onwards and upwards! **

The terrain was dirty and dangerous, the walls were made from strips of wood stuck together, to climb them you had to pull yourself up with a rope…it looked like a mountain. Camouflage netting covered the ground, very easy to trip over. Four separate towers stood tall and proud ready to be attacked. Little pot holes littered the ground; marks of red (possible blood) splattered the surrounding thick forest of trees.

This was lethal.

This was deadly.

This was paintball.

"The teams are as followed," Coulson announced while standing in front of the six superheroes, each of which were dressed in full army gear. Guns strapped to their backs and hard helmets placed on their heads, a sombre mood had fallen over the group. Competition had set in. "Stark with Banner, Rogers with Thor and Romanoff with Barton." Suddenly, the tense silence disappeared and…

"There is no way I am working with the green rage monster." Tony bellowed in outrage.

"Yeah…'cuz I really wanna be on a team with the egotistical, narcissistic bastard." Bruce argued back angrily.

"I don't think Banner and Stark should go together either," Steve added helpfully, his posture strong and ready, "neither can fight properly without the suit or the other guy."

"Well we're not going to bloody war Rogers." Natasha pointed out whilst stretching her arm, as soon as she'd said it each of the men turned to face her, looks of disbelief on all their faces.

"We bloody well are going to war. And we are going to win." Clint said, his voice an eerie calm before Tony snorted,

"You wish, you don't have the brains to beat us Robin Hood." Tony retaliated smugly. Clint shouted,

"Do not call me Robin Hood!" at the same time Bruce asked,

"So me and you are a 'we' now?"

"Friends, let us begin the battle that is before us. Only the mightiest warriors will receive victory whilst the humble servants that try to follow them stumble and fall, you my friends are the humble servants and I and Steven are the fierce warriors!" Thors strong voice radiated throughout the forest, and several birds flew away.

"….Did Thor just insult us or…?" Natasha asked carefully staring at the large god.

"I apologise Lady Natasha, for you are much smaller in size and therefore have a large disadvantage, as you see women very rarely become the strongest of warriors, you were not included in the comment." Thor apologised, all the other guys eyebrows shot up and they all whispered,

"Oooooooo Thooooor." Natasha's expression turned from indifferent to furious,

"Thor you are absolutely dead. I don't care what the fuck I have to do, you will end up with several paintballs right in your balls and you better hope some real bullets don't 'accidently' fall into my gun or they'll find their way to your ass!" Each of the men took a step back and Thor coughed nervously, Tony bravely steeped forward and grinned,

"Okay I am now on Little Reds team."

….

"Okay, three…two…one…go!" Coulson screamed while taking cover behind the wooden barrier, he had been placed as the referee and he was quickly coming to the conclusion that he would have been safer in a real war. The rules were simple, you get hit you get out, the last man standing is the winner.

"Okay Thor we need a plan of attack," Steve shouted over the thundering sound of paint guns being shot and paint balls being splattered. "We need to get to the tower over there to provide us with some real cover." The thunder god nodded and glanced over their hiding block, his face darkened.

"Lord Steven this is more of a deadly game than I had ever imagined."

"Why what's happening?" Steve asked worriedly, Thor's eyes widened and he muttered,

"Lord Stark is being chased by Lady Natasha." In the near distance they heard Natasha yell…

"I'm gonna kill you Stark, get back here!" Whilst Tony screamed out,

"Help me Brucie Baby! Unleash the beast!" Silence. Before Bruce sarcastically shouted back,

"Oh so now you want the rage monster?"

"Help meeeeee!" Followed by an extremely high pitched shriek and then Tony Stark was not heard from again.

"Ha-ha, he screams like a girl." Thor and Steve both laughed before they froze and turned quickly, dangling down in front of them was Clint. His gun aimed at the god and soldier who scrambled to their feet and legged it across the battle field. They managed to make it across without being shot, both were breathing heavily and beginning to realise just how deadly the assassins were.

…

Meanwhile back in Bruce and Tony's hiding place,

"Tony aren't you supposed to be out?" Bruce asked staring at the billionaires now multi-coloured battle vest. Tony shrugged casually,

"This isn't about rules anymore." The placed a heavy hand on Bruce's shoulder, "This is about survival." Bruce heard manly screams coming from the opposite end of the field.

"You're right, what have we got?" Tony flashed him a grin and held up a metal arm from his suit.

"I loaded it with paintballs we can use the targeting system to kill them all! Ha-ha!" Bruce coughed,

"Umm, Tony we can't kill them." Tony nodded and mumbled,

"Oh yeah, you're right we can't kill them." Bruce turned to look out across the field, "…yet."

"What did you just say?"

"Oh nothing you must be hearing things…anywayyyyy…" Tony continued, "Get ready, this is where we win, this is where we become victorious, this is where we-" several balls of paint shot Bruce and Tony in the chest, they both froze. The iron man hand was snatched out of Tony's grip,

"Didn't think I'd let you cheat did ya bitches? You're both out." Coulson mocked while pointing towards the exit, the billionaire and the scientist trailed miserably out, as Tony muttered…

"Let's go get some shwarma."

…..

"Thor this is it, this is the only way we can win." Steve and Thor were both crouched down, trying to be quiet as they heard the two assassins shooting at each other (they had both decided to work alone and as a result had become enemies).

"Lord Steven…" Thor choked out, "This is a very noble thing to do, are you sure?" Steve nodded firmly, his voice unusually high as he whispered,

"I have to take one for the team." Thor pulled the soldier into a hug and mumbled,

"I will never forget you."

"Win for us big guy, win for us." And with those last words Steve jumped out of the hiding placed and charged –screaming- forwards, immediately a shower of bullets sprayed him down and he lay on the ground in a puddle of yellow, not moving.

"Nooooooo!" Thor screamed as he shot blindly into the tress, and by luck a heavy figure fell down. It was Clint, Steve and Clint were now both dead (or out…but whatever) it was only Natasha and the God left. Nervously Thor stood up, before he could turn around Natasha appeared and raised her gun.

"I never break my promises Thor." The god stumbled back and dropped his gun, aware that he was no match for the woman.

"Have mercy…" He begged, Natasha laughed and pulled the trigger. Seconds later Thor was on the floor holding his source of pain, his crotch was a bright pink.

"I win!" Natasha announced smugly, swaggering towards the exit, leaving in her wake a multi-coloured billionaire, a green Bruce, a crying Clint, a yellow super soldier and a demi god cradling his crotch.

…..

Once everyone was clean and not afraid to be within a twenty foot distance of Natasha, the avengers plus Coulson sat down to discuss their next activity.

"How about chariot racing? Or fire eating? Oh wait no, no, I know! You ready for this...? We all get pissed fly to Vegas, buy a tiger, sell the tiger, buy an elephant, race the elephant and then win loads of money, buy a casino but rig the machines so no-one ever wins, then we all have a group marriage where I marry the Jolly Green Giant, Capsicle marries Little Red and Legolass marries Pointbreak?" Tony was standing up by the end of his speech, the rest of the team just stared at him until Natasha pulled on his arm to sit him back down.

"It's already been decided," Coulson explained as soon as he said it the entire group groaned, "it's truth or dare." Tony grinned,

"Perfect."

**Was that any good? **

**Please review it means so much and I do a happy little dance whenever I get one ;) **


	3. Chapter 3

**No time to proof read sorry! There are 11 followers so I reeeally want 11 reviews, good or bad, come on guys please. **

The Avengers crawled back into Stark Tower, each of them (except Natasha) holding an injured body part. Coulson should have expected it really, paintball with a bunch of overgrown children would end in tears, especially when the overgrown children were two kick-ass master assassins, a super soldier that survived being frozen for over 70 years, a man with an alter ego that is very fond of the word 'smash' also a billionaire that designed a Iron Suit and created a new element in a day, oh and the god of thunder that has a very large hammer.

Enough said.

"Go get cleaned up," Coulson ordered as the team limped past him and to their rooms, (although Tony had designed them all their own floors they each had a bedroom on the top floor, they said it was for easy access but it was really because they all felt slightly safer together) he shook his head at the five grown men that got their assess handed to them by Natasha.

Not that he could have done any better.

With that thought he went over to the open elevator door and stepped inside, thoroughly relieved Fury had given him the rest of the day off. While waiting for the metal doors to shut he heard a booming crash and raised voices. Coulson face palmed and muttered, "Jarvis shut the damn doors."

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

"Hey Brucie...hey over here," Bruce looked around for the voice in confusion, "Oi! In here you idiot." An arm shot out of the room to his left and dragged the scientist in; he was not of course surprised to find Tony standing there and smirking.

"What do you want Tony?" Bruce asked tiredly, Tony's eyes brightened and Bruce immediately regretted asking the question and not screaming for help.

"We have to go and play truth or dare now but have you noticed it?" The billionaire asked in an excited but low voice, clearly he didn't want to be overheard.

"Noticed what?" Bruce replied annoyed at having to play the genius's childish games.

"Steve and Nat, Cap and Widow, Stasha, The Cold War." Tony sighed impatiently at Bruce's confused face. "Okayyy, clearly I need to spell this out...Steve and Natasha are in l-o-v-e." Bruce's eyes widened at the billionaires words and his eyebrows shot up when he realised his annoying friend was actually right.

"My god Tony, you're right they are! What are we going to do?" Bruce asked quickly, he surprised himself by how eager he was to get the spy and soldier together and apparently he surprised Tony too.

"Good, we're on the same page then, it's easy, during truth or dare we have to make sure they either answer questions about each other or do dares to each other, you understand?" If possible Tony's voice had become quicker and Bruce amazingly kept up with it.

"I get it, but Tony are you sure they really want this?" Bruce asked, not wanting to upset his friends but also really wanting to get them together. Tony nodded confidently.

"Positive, they will thank us...one day...probably"

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX **

The Avengers were all sat in a conference room in Shield, Tony was sprawled over the table, Natasha and Clint were sat on the left while Thor and Steve were opposite them. Coulson had politely refused their offer to include him in their new activity...and 'politely refused' means he swore at them and then attempted to tazor Tony as he ran away.

"I'll go first," Tony announced giddily, the rest of the team rolled their eyes in annoyance. "Capsicle I dare you to kiss the assassin." Immediately everyone laughed except Steve who blushed deeply,

"But Tony that's-" the soldier began to argue,

"No buts, do it Captain." The soldier blushed deeper and stood up, he walked over to Clint and Natasha.

"Tony I'm not-" Steve tried to argue again but Tony cut him off,

"Just get it over Cap, everyone in here wants you to do it right?" There was a round of cheering and laughter as Steve bent down and kissed Clint on the mouth. Tony sat their shocked whilst everyone else began howling, Bruce was wiping his eyes and Clint himself was clutching his sides.

"Steve I didn't know you were that into me!" Clint said happily to which Steve shook his head quickly,

"But it was a dare! I had to kiss the assassin!" the soldier shouted in defence, Natasha awkwardly rubbed his arm soothingly but she too was in fits of laughter.

"Erm Cap, I meant Natasha...by assassin I meant Natasha." Tony explained his face red with lack of oxygen from his laughter. Steve put his head in his hands while Clint grinned,

"But I'm flattered Cap, maybe we can grab a drink sometime?" The archer asked, winking when Steve looked over at him. The soldier practically jumped over the table and back to Thor.

"Okayyy, now I dare Natasha to...kiss Fury." Clint shouted, he air pumped when he finished his sentence, the other male Avengers all giggled (except Steve who looked...jealous?) Natasha scowled and looked out the door to the Director, she stood up and walked out, the five men jumped from their places and followed her they stopped at the doorway and peeked their heads around the door. As Natasha reached him she looked back at the guys and stuck her middle finger up, this ensured more laughter. Natasha reached up and tapped the director on the back,

"Sir." He turned to face her and as he did so she slammed her lips to his, after a second Fury furiously (ha-ha) pulled away.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing Romanoff?!" He screamed in her face she backed away and grimaced when she heard giggles erupt from somewhere behind her.

"I'm sorry Sir, Barton and Stark told me that if I didn't kiss you they would hack Shield again." Natasha said quickly, struggling to keep the grin off her face as she heard a tense silence fall over the men in the other room.

"Those Motherfuckers! I'm gonna rip their fucking eyeballs out and shove them up their motherfucking asses and then make them shit them back out!" Fury yelled as he marched to the room Natasha was pointing at. She heard high pitched screaming and several gun shots before Fury stormed back out and down the hall.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

"Well, now that Clint and Tony have peeled themselves off the wall we should carry on our game." Bruce said, he glanced over at Tony and winked, Tony nodded back in reply.

"Dr Banner is correct; therefore I dare Lord Steve to admit who he loves the most in this room." Thor announced loudly, Steve blushed and muttered,

"I've just had a go."

"Doesn't matter, Thor chose you." Clint said happily, the archer was fully expecting Steve to say it was him. Unfortunately Tony, Bruce and Thor were all expecting the soldier to say them as well.

"Fine...it's Natasha." The red headed assassin stared up at her Captain in shock.

"What? Why?" she asked, her face showed no signs of her emotion and Steve stammered nervously.

"Err, well I...I love the way you don't take trouble from anyone, how you were the only one to help me when I got confused with this modern stuff. How you're one of the kindest people I know, but you're definitely the most beautiful too and how funny you are, also how you cry at sad films and fight for the people you care about, no matter what..." Natasha stood up and wrapped her arms around Steve, he placed his around her and he leant down as she reached up, they kissed softly.

"You bastard! I thought you loved me!" Clint screamed before running from the room. Steve and Natasha both grinned and began kissing again while Tony began to fake cry.

"Well that was just too damn beautiful but seriously get a room, oh and Cap it's okay you don't have to admit you love me most." The billionaire said winking, Steve coughed,

"I don't love you." He said awkwardly.

"Okay, suuuure you don't." Tony grinned.

"Stark I honestly don't."

"That's fine Steve, we all know the truth."

"Stark, I don't love you."

"Of course you don't and I definitely don't love you either."

Cue awkward silence.

...

"I'm gonna go." Tony muttered before practically sprinting from the room. Bruce smiled sheepishly before following his friend, Thor headed towards the door too but as he passed the new couple he patted them both on the back...hard. So hard in fact that Steve and Natasha both stumbled forwards and hit their heads against each other's.

"Well that went well." Steve muttered kissing Natasha's neck as she sighed happily,

"Yeah well if you think that was bad, Coulson told me that tomorrow we've gotta go Rock Climbing and Bowling." Steve groaned as she laughed, "And apparently there's going to be an extra person."

"Who?" Steve asked pulling away so they could head out of Shield without arising suspicion.

"I'm not sure but I've got a bad feeling." She answered, Steve's eyes widened.

"You don't think..." he said slowly.

"Maybe..." she mumbled,

"Loki." he signed.

"Fuck." she swore.

**So what do you think of the end? **

**Was it even funny? **

**Do you want a serious chapter next? **


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